lalkitabWe’ve all seen the ads in the classified sections of newspapers from astrologers claiming they can fix your problems. Having money problems? No problem. Can’t find a suitable mate? No worries, Peer SoandSo can solve all your dilemmas just as easy as it is to pick up the phone and dial his magic digits.

Ordinarily I don’t usually pay these astrologers much mind, I mean, how can someone solve my problems in just seven days when I haven’t been able to do so in seven years? But recently, a friend of mine recommended a “Lal Kitab” astrologer who he swears made his money problems disappear. Then a second friend also asserted the same claim with said astrologer and needless to say, I was intrigued.

His name is Gurmeet Singh and when I met with him for an initial consultation, he told me that he specializes in Lal Kitab Astrology. Lal Kitab translates to Red Book, and indeed, the series of five books that detail this Vedic science come bound with a red cover. Started in 1939 by Pt. Roop Chand Joshi, the Vedic science combines astrology with palmistry and helps identify karmic troubles in your astrology chart and then gives “remedies” to alleviate your issues.

Sure enough, after giving Gurmeet my birth date and time, a few days later, we met in his Jackson Heights office for a consultation. He began our conversation by giving me an uncannily accurate summation of my personality and current life situation. As he spoke, I shifted uncomfortably in my seat for it felt something akin to having my underwear drawer thrown up in the air in Grand Central Station during rush hour…very exposed. But he was kind, courteous and very professional in his deliverance so I acquiesced.

According to Astrologer Gurmeet’s reading, money was good, business was strong and my health was getting back to normal, but I already kind of “knew” that. What I was most interested in knowing is when will I meet my life partner?

And then, as he stared intently into my eyes, he said the dreaded, “You have a block in your karma…(dramatic pause)…. I can give you a remedy for it, but it is up to you. If you do what I tell you, you should be married within the next two years. If not, then not for another 10 years”

Hmm.

Gurmeet then picked up the Red Book and proceeded to tell me the remedy. Apparently, I was to find a metal flute of some sort, fill it with raw sugar and bury it into some unfrequented field in an area with trees, but no grass and on a sunny Saturday.

Double Hmm.

I knew I could find a metal flute and raw sugar in the Indian neighborhood of Jackson Heights, and I could easily wait for a sunny Saturday, but finding an unfrequented field in Manhattan? Now this was turning into a tall order! But, if it meant finally settling down with the right life partner sooner rather than later, I reasoned that finding a quiet field in Manhattan would actually be easier than finding an available man without commitment issues in this fair city. I was game.

Gurmeet reasoned, “Like you visit a doctor every year to check up on your health, it’s important to visit your astrologer just as regularly to make sure your karmic health remains clear.” Made sense to me, I thought, and listened intently as he explained how he could match the horoscope of a potential partner to advise on a harmonious course of action and also pick out an auspicious wedding date.

Apparently Lal Kitab astrologers can see your current future by studying the planetary positions in your unique birth time and charting how they are affecting you now, both positively and negatively. Then a series of “remedies” are then prescribed based on any obstacles one may have in the path through their destiny. Lal Kitab is said to have Arabic and Persian roots and is widely practiced in both India and Pakistan by astrologers like Gurmeet who have spent many years studying the five books of Lal Kitab.

As visions of my perfect wedding started to infiltrate my imagination, I walked out from my appointment with Gurmeet elated at the chance of meeting my future partner. Now all I had to do was find that elusive field!

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Written by Ayesha Hakki